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Because I couldn’t resist, I give you this wee drabble (and gods, people should be impressed that I kept it wee since I’m not known for wee writing): 

*

“You can wear my underwear.  It’ll be like old times,” Natasha told Clint while they sat together on the med-bed where Clint was recovering from yet another blow to the head.  The dangers of range fighting was that he wasn’t always prepared to be punched in the back of the head by what he didn’t see coming up behind him.  It also didn’t help that his hands were usually occupied with his bow and arrows of badassery.   

Clint chuckled and then winced when the movement jostled his already sore head. 

“Tash…don’t.  It hurts still.  And don’t make promises you don’t want to keep.  I know you went shopping the other day.  You probably won’t let me wear the new tiny silky underwear I’m betting you bought,” Clint fussed.  He pouted his bottom lip when she nodded her head.  “Granny panties for me, huh?”

Natasha just gave that smile that was usually reserved for Clint because of their shared past and because he understood her better than most. 

“Nah.  I’ll let you wear an older pair of slinky panties,” she promised and patted his cheek, which brightened him up considerably. 

Clint replied, “Promise?  One of the really good slinky pairs?  Like…one of the red slinky pairs that you reserve for really good dates or seducing the really tough targets before you go in for the kill?”  He stared right into her eyes and would have wiggled in place at the prospect, but it would have hurt too much.

She laughed and nodded.  “Yeah.  One of the really good slinky red pairs.” 

*

They’d never noticed Steve standing in the doorway.  He’d come to check on Clint and found Natasha with him.  He was going to step inside and check anyway except that he’d heard the conversation about Natasha’s underwear and the prospects of Clint wearing them. 

Steve had turned around and left the two alone.  At best, that was a private conversation full of humorous anecdotes about Budapest that he might have laughed at had he understood the context.  At worst, it was a prelude to something more private that he wasn’t meant to witness.  So, he’d covered his bases and bowed out before they even knew he was there. 

*

When Tony found Steve an hour later at the kitchen table, he was on the laptop he’d been given.  While he fixed an energy shake, he peeked over Steve’s shoulder to see what he was doing, which was obviously researching all the references he heard that he didn’t understand on account of being a Capsicle for all those years. 

Tony’s eyebrow quirked when he read the webpage article ‘Men Who Love to Wear Women’s Underwear’.  His right eye twitched when he glanced down at Steve’s notebook – the one he’d been carrying around lately with all the ‘things to be researched’ list, and he saw a sub-list underneath ‘Wearing Natasha’s red slinky unmentionables’ that consisted of the phrases: ‘What are Granny panties?’  ‘Why does Natasha have her grandmother’s panties?’  ‘Why do other people wear her grandmother’s panties?’  ‘Men wearing women’s underthings.’  Under that was another sub-list that merely had ‘Transvestites, Transexuals, and Transgender’ written down in Steve’s neat handwriting. 

“Hey there, buddy,” Tony greeted as he moved around where he could look into Steve’s clean-cut All-American face.  “Got uh…something you want to talk about?  Are you…uh…action or executive?  Or weirdo?”  He side-eyed the other Avenger and went back to making his shake as if none of this was strange at all.  “Given what I know of you, I’d say action.  I’m more your executive type.” 

Steve looked up at Tony in confusion then down at his research list and sighed as he added yet more to it.  He didn’t understand that reference at all.  

***

Posted also at my AO3 acct: Steve Didn’t Get that Reference

(Source: textsfromthe-avengers)

supernormalstep:

Saw this old Marvel “year in review” thing where they poked fun at their own lack of diversity in their comics, and felt compelled to make a big high res version of Marvel’s 1990 master race.

re-inked and re-colored it myself in huge size.

And let’s just make sure we all see that they’re all Avengers and not mutants.  Way to go, supposed heroes.  

thelouringlady:

clinttbarton:

i fucking love whenever people are like “how would steve rogers react to the fact that people now curse and talk about sex?”

yo

he grew up as a poor orphan in Brooklyn and joined the fucking army i think he’s got that shit covered 

I’m forever perplexed by that sort of thinking.

Well, if we’re going to be technical about it, look at the way he’s portrayed.  

Movie’verse - Captain America can barely get the innuendo of “fondue” out without blushing.  Or being hit on full-on against his consent by the blonde.  Avengers - refuses to give people the equality of religions other than Christianity.  Yes, he was in the army, yes, he grew up as in Brooklyn, but all that means is that he probably heard a lot of violence and swear words, but in the movies, he’s shown as being an overly blushy goodboy who probably would do everything he could to wash Fury’s mouth out with soap the first time he said “muthafukka.”  

Comic’verse - Yes, he probably has gotten really used to swearing.  He’s around Logan all the fucking time.  He probably doesn’t bat an eyelash at hearing the words or hearing graphic descriptions of boning because he’s made Logan an Avengers.  

And let’s face it, he doesn’t bat an eyelash to putting mutants and aliens into concentration camps, er…”containment centers,” so yeah.  In comic’verse, nothing probably fazes him nearly as much as in movie’verse.  

http://apocalypse-patisserie.tumblr.com/post/73213402402/theappleppielifestyle-everybodyilovedies

theappleppielifestyle:

everybodyilovedies:

peppertheband:

headcanon that steve comes up with ridiculous nonsensical phrases and claims that theyre old-timey sayings just to fuck with people

Well what in the raccoon flying hay penny do we have here?

This mess is worse than a…

I might actually like Steve if he did something like this instead of always throwing around his bigotry.

(Source: bibuchanan)

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